Building your marriage God’s way:

Man did not invent marriage—it is created and instituted by God. God called for Marriage calls one man and one woman to leave home, cleave together, and become one flesh.

The Bible is full of stories, instructions, parables and prophecies about the love, beauty even struggles of a marital life. We will explore together what the LORD God says about marriage in the Bible. We will discover that marriage was created by the LORD God, blessed by the LORD God, and that the LORD God intended that marriage be a covenant between two people. The LORD God is the author of marriage and a couple is joined together for life in a special spiritual and physical relationship blessed by the LORD GOD.

The LORD God created men and women in his image.

“26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” (Genesis 1:26-27)

Man did not invent marriage—it is created and instituted by the by the LORD God. God called for Marriage and it calls one man and one woman to leave home, cleave together, and become one flesh.
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will
make him an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2:18-22)

The whole emphasis of the first two chapters of the Bible is in the relationship between the man and the woman and their relationship with God. Men and women are specifically created with their own differences yet are still in the image of the LORD God and the nature of the LORD God.

Eve was shaped from the bones and flesh of the man Adam. Note that the she was formed from his rib which is closest to the heart and furthers from the feet. This means that it was the intention of God that man and woman are to be joined together side by side.

“And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:23-24)

Marriage is ordained by the LORD God and it involves one man and one woman. They must cleave together to become one flesh. The LORD God made woman for man, she is ideally suited emotionally, anatomically, and psychologically to meet the needs of man. It is together that the husband and wife make their own home, starting their own traditions and together they are becoming one together.
“And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matthew 19: 5-6)

When Jesus was challenged by the Pharisees He confirms that marriage was created to last. The New Testament and Old Testament make it clear that marriage is a covenant between the man and the woman. Husband and wife are joined together by God and man cannot tear them apart. If the LORD God has called you to be married He will give you the grace to remain married. The LORD God does sustain marriage; that is our responsibility.

The ideal is to have a relationship between husband and wife and the LORD God.

“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,” (Ephesians 5:21-26)

Both man and woman need to submit to each other other—to yield their lives—to the LORD God and to one another as a sign of the covenant bond.

When we as humans make a strong commitment to the LORD God then we can make a strong commitment to each other. If that strong commitment is not possible with God then it is not possible with man either. Love is not what makes a marriage work it is the Grace of the LORD God that makes the marriage work.

Husband and wife needs to realize that human love is insufficient to sustain a marriage. It takes the agape, or divine love of the LORD God to makes it possible to have a good marriage. Marriage needs a real agape or divine love not a friendship love. There needs to be a mutual submission in the partnership where neither rules over the other.

The wife is called to be submissive to their husband’s leadership. Equally the husband is called to be submissive to the LORD GOD and sacrifice their life for their wife and their family, just as Christ has sacrificed His own life for the church. (Ephesians 5:23)

Marriage is not a give-and-take proposition. It is a giving together all for the glory of the LORD God. Making a marriage work takes both giving over and over again to make the other person happy. Did you hear that? It is trying to make the other person happy not one’s self happy. This takes a giving spirit and it takes nurturing and encouraging each other to be a giving spirit together.

“And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.” (Matthew 21:22 )

Pray together for each other. You need to kneel before the LORD God and ask Him for strength in the marriage, for your love to increase together, for forgiveness, and wisdom to help solve problems. We have the promise from Jesus that whatever we shall ask in prayer, if we believe we shall receive.

We have a perfect description of what love is that is found in

1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Love is forbearing and kind. Love knows no jealousy. Love does not brag, is not conceited. Love is not unmannerly, nor selfish, nor irritable, nor mindful of wrongs. Love does not rejoice in injustice, but joyfully sides with the truth. Love can overlook faults. Love is full of trust, full of hope, full of endurance.

Love is not a sentimental impulse that only works when we want it to work. It is a holy principle that was ordained by the LORD God and involves every phase and action in marriage life. With the grace of the LORD God and true love marriage cannot fail. Without the grace of the LORD GOD and without true love marriage cannot succeed.

It is imperative that we understand that from the very beginning that man and woman were created by the LORD God to share life together in love. The woman was made to be a “helper” to the man. She was made from man and—despite all the declarations by the worldly of the modern “experts”—a woman can find her greatest joy and fulfillment in relating to, helping, supplementing and assisting her husband in their life together, in bearing children, and in managing a household.
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV).

Every man alive has the opportunity to be the direct representative of the LORD God over his own home. His responsibility is in teaching, instructing, leading and inspiring his wife and children to learn and obey the words of the Holy Bible and to worship and serve the LORD God who made them. It is their job to set a good example of dedication to the LORD God, study His Word, pray together, and set a good example of self discipline in fearing the LORD God.

It is important to remember that the husband and wife are of equal worth before the LORD God, since both are created in God’s image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to his people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, and has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.

Cite Article Source

MLA Style Citation:

Holstein, Joanne “Building your marriage God’s way:.” Becker Bible Studies Library Oct 2014.<,>.

APA Style Citation:
Holstein, Joanne (2014, October) “Building your marriage God’s way:.” Becker Bible Studies Library. Retrieved from,.

Chicago Style Citation:
Holstein, Joanne (2014) “Building your marriage God’s way:.” Becker Bible Studies Library (October),, (accessed).

Joanne Holstein is a Becker Bible Studies Teacher and Author of Guided Bible Studies for Hungry Christians. She is a graduate of Psychology/Christian and Bible Counseling with Liberty University. She is well-known as a counselor to Christian faithful who are struggling with tremendous burden in these difficult times. She is a leading authority on historical development of Christian churches and the practices and beliefs of world religions and cults.

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