Dealing with Jealousy
Relationship jealousy takes the involvement of three people. That can be husband, wife and a child, or it can be between siblings one or both parents. The Bible gives us many examples of jealousy and the out come of that jealousy.
Rachel displayed jealousy from the time Jacob married Leah. Jealousy is an emotion that can control our lives and lead us to mistrust even ourselves. Rachel was not alone in displaying jealousy in the Bible. What can we learn from Rachel on how to control jealousy?
One of the characteristics we found with Rachel was that of jealousy. Relationship jealousy takes the involvement of three people. This triangle consists of Jacob, Rachel and Leah. Her jealousy could have been because of her fears that Jacob would love Leah more than her. Leah may not have been as pretty as Rachel but she could give Jacob children. This shows an insecurity of Rachel. I am wondering if she should have been so fearful or anxious about her position with Jacob since he worked an extra seven years for her.
There are many different examples of jealousy in the Bible besides Rachel. The first relationship jealousy can be found between Sarah and Hagar. The LORD God promised Abraham that his descendants would be as many as the stars in heaven. This is wonderful and exciting the problem came because Sarah was barren. Sarah gave her handmaiden to Abraham to begin the process of having descendants as numerous as the stars in the heaven. This was Sarah’s choice but once Hagar became pregnant and then had Ishmael Sarah was jealous. The triangle of jealousy was first between Abraham, Sarah and Hagar. Once Ishmael was born it was between Sarah, Hagar and Ishmael.
Once Sarah conceived and had Isaac, who the LORD God intended to be the child of promise there was a new family formed and a new set of jealousies formed. Now we see the jealousy was Hagar being jealous of Sarah. This distention was so bad that eventually Hagar and Ishmael had to be sent away because of this jealousy. Sarah, Abraham and Isaac were a happy family.
This family had some real family with jealousy. Isaac grew up and got married to Rebekah and when she had twins the jealousy raised its ugly head again. The three-way-triangle of jealousy was born again when there was favoritism between the twin boys. Jacob was a pretty boy and favored by Rebekah. Esau was a hunter and real guy’s guy and the favorite of Isaac. Jacob and Esau were jealous of each other because of the relationship between the other parents. This jealousy grew worse when Jacob stole the birthright from Esau and Jacob was sent away in fear of his life.
When it came time for Jacob and Rachel the pattern is already in progress. You have that triangle between Jacob, Rachel and Leah. Later after Rachel has Joseph then there is a horrible triangle between the other sons and Joseph. Joseph is the favorite son of Jacob because of his love of Rachel and the other sons hate him. They even tried to kill Joseph but decided to sell him into slavery all because of jealousy.
Jealousy is the same in our time as well for the same reasons. It can come out of insecurities and feeling of low self-esteem which is a low opinion of oneself. Unfortunately, jealousy is too often dependent on the opinion even the praise of other people. It is a wishing that one could be like someone else or have the tendency of someone else. You can always find it in the form of a triangle.
Not unlike the Biblical example today we see jealousy in the form of anger, out of fear and with feelings of humiliation and insecurity. Jealousy also crosses that trust line we all have set for our personal security. An important thing to remember is that jealousy does weaken any relationship. Jealousy has the potential to destroy any relationship. The jealousy conflict occurs when a person does not get what they want out of a relationship. Don’t get me wrong it is not wrong to want something nor is it wrong to ask for something that we want. It becomes wrong when we demand what we want without any consideration of other people’s consideration or giving others some kind of thought.
What can be done to stop the act of jealousy? First acknowledge the fact that there is jealousy issue. Recognize jealousy does show a lack of self-esteem and self-worth. It would help to work on building and developing confidence. If you can identify the element that aggravates jealousy then try to control it or eliminate that element. It would help to find ways to make you feel more secure. It is so important for you to be honest with yourself and examine the jealousy. List the things that make you jealous. You will need to be objective when looking at jealousy and this includes looking your family history.
Like in the case of Rachel it was common place to be jealous. It is important for you to realize that, like in the case of Rachel, you are doing it to yourself. It really does not make a difference what other people may be doing in your life you are the one that is in control. This is really good news because it give you the control over your own situation. Rachel was feeling insecure about the love of Jacob. He had proved his love to her by working for seven more years. How much more would it have taken to prove to Rachel she was loved by Jacob?
It would have been beneficial for Rachel to take a realistic look at Leah and find the qualities that was beyond her own abilities. She needed to take control of her own feelings and appreciate the loving relationship between her and Jacob. Forgiveness is also an important step in healing in jealousy. You have to forgive yourself for being on a path you have probably live through as a child and try to break that family pattern of jealousy. If we like it or not family patterns are powerful in our lives and they do shape and form us.
Jealousy from a Biblical perspective tells us we must trust in the LORD God to overcome insecurities within ourselves. We have to learn to trust in His unfailing love and acceptance of us through the blood of Jesus Christ. It takes reflection and prayer and trust in the LORD God.
One of my favorite Bible verses can be found in Psalm 143:8-12; “Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee. Deliver me, O LORD, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me. Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. Quicken me, O LORD, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble. And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.”
Cite Article Source
MLA Style Citation:
Holstein, Joanne “Dealing with Jealousy:.” Becker Bible Studies Library Feb 2015.<https://guidedbiblestudies.com/?p=2278,>.
APA Style Citation:
Holstein, Joanne (2015, February) “Dealing with Jealousy:.” Becker Bible Studies Library. Retrieved from https://guidedbiblestudies.com/?p=2278,.
Chicago Style Citation:
Holstein, Joanne (2015) “Dealing with Jealousy:.” Becker Bible Studies Library (February), https://guidedbiblestudies.com/?p=2278, (accessed).
