What is Grief?
How to Cope with Losing a Husband to Death: Anna had been married for seven years before she lost her husband. This section will deal with what a grieving person can experience, the types of grief, and some different reactions to grief. Understanding what grief is and the different forms grief can take can help in dealing with grief or be of assistance to someone experiencing grief. Anna was a wonderful example of how to deal with grief.
Loss is part of the life process. A grieving person can experience a whole gamut of emotions and symptoms.
Emotional turmoil is not uncommon and takes many different forms from out bursts of tears, to temper even an over whelming hopelessness. The person can encounter sadness, depression, anger, rage one or all of these symptoms together or one at a time.
Anna could have felt guilt over the emotions she felt after the death of her husband. When a person loses a loved one it is not uncommon that they do experience guilt because they often feel like they should have done more to save their mate, or maybe they had a tiff before the spouse died and they feel guilt and blame their inadequacies.
Then there are the “If only I” starts to set in. “If only I” would have known I would not have said this or done that. “If only I” would have gotten help faster. “If only I” would have insisted on taking a vacation. “If only I” would have not had my loved one push so hard. The list of ìIf only Iî are endless and can defeat the grieving person. The “If only I” should be avoided at all cost.
Loneliness and resentment are two other common feelings a grieving person experiences. Loneness and resentment can lead to a number of disturbances of the normal life cycle. Eating disturbances can take the shape of either over eating or under eating. Sleeping disturbances can also be seen in either sleeping too much or too little. There can also be psychosomatic complains that take many different forms from little aches and pains to things more serious such as chest pains.
The duration of grief is not a set time. It is important to give yourself permission to grieve. The grief process can bring misunderstandings with other family members who believe that the process should be done in a different way. There is not a right or a wrong way to handle grief. The duration is not set either it can take weeks to years to process the loss of a loved one.
There are many Types of Grief from Chronic grief which is usually on going for years. This can be in the either grief that has been dealt with in the past, or something that has not been dealt with, or it can be an ongoing grief that is happening now.
When there is an unanticipated loss of a loved spouse or a loved one this is acute grief.
Grief that is drawn out over many years of fighting and dissatisfaction is said to be anticipatory grief. This can also be when you are anticipating for death due to a long term illness.
There are five stages of grief before acceptance and healing begins and before the grieving person can move on in accepting the loss. Grief begins with shock with the news that the loss has taken place. This does not have to be recognized at first because there are so many different things that have to be handled with the initial news of the death.
Shock is followed by anger and or denial. There is no rule of thumb which of these comes first or the time period involved in handling and processing the anger and or denial.
Depression either chronic or clinical is never far behind the anger and or denial. Depression can be expected either in a chronic or clinical form. Sometimes this requires antidepressants and sometime it does not. It all depends on the survivor and the amount of trauma this person is experiencing and the support that surrounds them.
Another stage is when there is a bargaining and deal making with the LORD God. There is no set time this takes place and can begin when the death process in inevitable. This bargaining can come in many different types of arrangements or promises.
It seems plausible that it is in the bargaining and deal making stage when the survivor begins to reach for the help of the LORD God. There can be conflict for the survivor in the very nature of the LORD God. We are taught as children that the LORD God is all powerful and that He loves all of us. It is not unusual for the survivors to begin questioning these teachings. Not understanding how a loving God can take their good loved one away and cause such a void in their lives. The survivor can experience an abandonment issue.
The examples of Anna can us women to remember that pain and suffering does have a purpose and has meaning in our lives. Grief cannot be argued away, or wished away it is inevitable. This can be backed up in Scripture.
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.” Romans 8:28-29
“And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:” Romans 5:3-4
Anna learned that her purpose for life was to be in the Temple of the LORD. The LORD God is not found in being released from pain and suffering or even grief. The LORD God is found in the middle of our pain, suffering and grief. Anna would never have seen the Messiah and accomplished her mission for the LORD had she not experienced pain, suffering and grief.
The handling of grief and suffering from the loss of a loved one will take strength, faith, endurance, perseverance, and even understanding. The bigger picture will unfold and the grief is process and accepted. Belonging to the family of the LORD God guarantees you will never walk through this process alone.
Anna increased her capacity to serve the LORD and found a new understanding of Him. Anna was blessed to see the beginnings of the ministry of Jesus Christ. We have grown up knowing and understanding that Jesus Christ has freed us from going through the grief process alone. We all should have appreciation of the sufferings of our precious Jesus did for us and this alone can bring us closer to Him in times of pain, suffering and grief.
1 Peter 4:13 “But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”
The lesson that Anna has given us is the way through grief and How to Cope with Losing a Husband to Death was first accept the fact that all people will suffer and die. Sometimes that person will suffer innocently. All is for the wise purposes of the LORD God and there is goodness that can come out of it. Like Anna, we need to embrace the purpose that LORD God has in mind for us. Just like Anna was waiting for the Messiah, the Redeemer; we need to be awaiting the second coming of this same Messiah, the Redeemer of our souls. Anna needed to gain knowledge and understanding and so do we. We need to be forever watchful and prayerful and know that it is in His timing that all is accomplished.
Peace comes when we remember it comes from Christ and all things works for the good of Him.
“But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.” John 14:26-28.
Cite Article Source
MLA Style Citation:
Holstein, Joanne “What is Grief?.” Becker Bible Studies Library Oct 2014.<https://guidedbiblestudies.com/?p=1428,>.
APA Style Citation:
Holstein, Joanne (2014, October) “What is Grief?.” Becker Bible Studies Library. Retrieved from https://guidedbiblestudies.com/?p=1428,.
Chicago Style Citation:
Holstein, Joanne (2014) “What is Grief?.” Becker Bible Studies Library (October), https://guidedbiblestudies.com/?p=1428, (accessed).
